BERNARD (rounding on SUZETTE) .... Right.  Who are you?
SUZETTE Me?
BERNARD Yes, you!
ROBERT It’s her!
BERNARD Who?
ROBERT You know who.
BERNARD I haven’t the faintest idea who.
ROBERT You don’t know who?
BERNARD Why do you think I was going bananas there?  Trying to keep warm?
ROBERT I didn’t know what.... You mean that isn’t her?
SUZETTE Who?
BERNARD Of course it isn’t her.
SUZETTE Who?
ROBERT Then if that isn’t her....
SUZETTE Who?
ROBERT ....who is she?
BERNARD That’s what I want to know! Who are you?
SUZETTE I’m his girl friend.
BERNARD (to ROBERT)  Is this true?
ROBERT No, no.
SUZETTE Yes!
ROBERT No!  That’s what I told her to say because I thought she was you-know-who.
SUZETTE Who?
ROBERT But if she isn’t, who is?
SUZETTE Who??
BERNARD Oh be quiet, you!
SUZETTE Oo, how rude!
BERNARD (patiently)  Now, slowly and simply, who are you and what are you doing here?
SUZETTE (to ROBERT)  Can I tell him?
ROBERT Yes, yes – tell him.
SUZETTE For real?
ROBERT Please.
SUZETTE I’m Suzette – from the agency.
BERNARD The agency?
SUZETTE The cook.  From the agency.  You should know.  You booked me.
BERNARD (collapsing)  Oh my God!
ROBERT You cooked a book... booked a cook?
BERNARD Yes.  For dinner tonight.
ROBERT And that’s her?
SUZETTE That’s me.
ROBERT (collapsing beside BERNARD)  Oh my God!
image_print
Close Menu