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BOB….I’m not…. I mean, I don’t…. I’m not used to this at all.
KATEI’m not sure I believe you.
BOBWhy?
KATEWell – the champagne….
BOBOh, that’s Geoff’s idea.
KATEAh. And the bed?
BOBThe bed?
KATEYes.
BOBEr….what about it?
KATEI didn’t expect that.
 (Pause)
BOBYou didn’t?
KATEA bit obvious, don’t you think?
BOB(staring at it) I suppose it is.
KATEA bit unsubtle.
BOBUnsubtle? Oh, I see! You’d rather do without the bed?
KATEWell at this stage.
BOBYou must forgive me. I’m not up with all the modern trends. I’m a bit old-fashioned about these things.
KATEHardly seems that way to me.
BOBTrue, I assure you. I’m a very staid, very ordinary, very unambitious man, who’s got involved in something a bit outside his scope. As a matter of fact I was about to skip off before you arrived. I didn’t think I could go through with it.
KATEReally?
BOBYes.
KATEThat’s funny. So was I.
 (Pause)
BOBSo were you what?
KATEAbout to skip off.
BOBWhy?
KATESame reason as you.
BOBI don’t quite follow.
KATEWell why were you nervous about it.
BOBBecause I’ve never done anything like this before.
KATENeither have I.
 (Pause)
BOBI mean, it’s my first time.
KATEIt’s mine too.
 (Pause. BOB bursts into relieved laughter.)
BOBI see! I didn’t understand! It’s your first time!
KATEYes.
BOBI thought you were a bit odd.
KATEOdd?
BOBYes. I couldn’t make you out at all. (Looking at her in a new light) Good heavens – your first time!
KATE(annoyed) Well do I look as if I’m a regular at it?
BOBNo, you don’t. That’s what threw me. I naturally assumed you were, you see. (Going to the drinks) Have another drink.
KATEThank you. Vodka and tonic.
BOB(as he pours) Your first time – Good Lord!
KATE(awkward) Well, is it so surprising? Everyone has to start somewhere.
BOBI suppose so. It hadn’t really occurred to me. (Bringing her drink) Tell me, why er… what, er… what made you go in for this sort of thing?
KATEWe all get lonely, don’t we?
BOBWell, yes, but er – rather a drastic method, isn’t it?
KATEWell, why have you done it?
BOBOh, dreams, fantasies – the frustrations of staid middle age.
KATEDoes it have to be a fantasy?
BOBWell…
KATEDon’t you think we might make a real relationship?
BOB(with a sad laugh) What an idealist you are. I don’t imagine you’ll stay that way for long.
KATE(angrily) Well for heaven’s sake, what do you suppose is the whole purpose of this exercise? Shake hands, have a quick drink, and then into bed? Wham, bam, thank you ma’am, and then go our separate ways? Eh?
 (Pause)
BOBWell… yes.
KATEWell, thank you!
 (Throws her drink in his face, and storms through to the other room, slamming the door.)
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